Why are they watching me?

as a ministers kid i always got the be good speech. if you have never heard this well let me just give you the jist of it. you need to be good because the people in the church are watching you... or the younger kids are looking up to you. as a child this always creeped me out to think that someone would spend all of their time watching my every move just to see what i did wrong. i felt like why should my actions be reflected onto my parents if i did something bad. i was the one who did the wrong not them. why should they be punished. what if i did something wrong and one of the younger kids was watching me. what if i gave them the wrong idea of what was right and what was wrong. it always made me so nervous to think that they were always watching me. i was nervous to make mistakes because what if it could jepordize what my family had worked so hard for (it wouldnt i never did anything serious) but i still thought what if it did. at the age of 13 i got the chance to change this. we moved to a little town in louisiana that was 30 minutes away from my church which was in an even smaller town. though i hated the one stop light town i loved the weight that it lifted off of my shoulders. i felt like noone from the church could see what i did. i could do what i wanted and they would never know. i felt like the eyes were lifted away. i could really be myself now. i was always a shy and timid kid. i think that this is partly because of the people watching me thing. i think that i was too afraid to show who i really was. i began to express myself more freely. i opened up to people that i would have never of talked to due to the fear that they might know someone from my church and would tell on me. i began to express my more creative sides. i became a part of alot of organizations within my school. this eventually led to me being in the leadership role of a lifetime. I was the Mississippi state V.P. of Community Service for FCCLA. i was able to get over my stage fright because i had to get infront of people and talk. i was able to impact the people around me and do what i love at the same time. by this i was able to get over the people watching me factor. i actually wanted them to watch me. i wanted them to see that they can do this too and help others. i wasnt afraid to put myself out there because i had lost this fear. i wanted them to see me i wanted to be an example to the younger children. i wanted them to see that it is cool to help others and participate in your community. i wanted to be the example set for them. i was happy to be watched and for them to tell others what i was doing. dont be afraid of others watching you be what you were ment to be and set an example to the younger generation because they are looking up to you and they do want to be COOL like you.